No retelling of your story, however full or void of details, can ever truly depict the depth of the turmoil you have gone through. Only those who have lived through a similar story will be able to understand. Others may be able to empathize, which is still good, but they may not be able to fully understand. That is ok.
Don’t let that stop you from speaking out or writing it down. Whoever needs it will be able to receive your message; but only when they are ready. Our job is to speak our truth. As we speak it, we heal. So, don’t be surprised that when you first start speaking, it comes out harshly and ineloquently. As you continue to speak and heal you will grow in love as well, and the manner in which you tell your story will be gentler and more eloquent – this will never change the depth of your story in any way. I do believe it makes it easier for others to receive though.
Don’t worry about your reputation, care about your character.
Easier said than done, I know. But it’s too easy to let the preconceived judgments of others stop you from doing what is right for yourselves. Your reputation is what other people think of you. Your character is who you are. Focus on what you know to be true and do what is right for you.
If you haven’t started telling your story yet, list 1-2 trustworthy people and 3 simply ways you can begin to share (counselors count).
If you can find a group that focuses specifically on the type of traumas you have endured and/or overcome, that is great! Please have the courage to join them and begin sharing your story in that safe space. Be wary of getting stuck where you are though. My limited experience of those types of groups left me wanting. The group I was able to find and actually speak up in was overrun by the few who wanted to remain in victim in mode. They weren’t there to heal, but to continue complaining about how terrible their life was while taking in no advice and doing nothing to change their circumstances. Unfortunately, this group did not have the leadership in place to deal with this dynamic and I refused to remain in victimhood, so I stopped attending. When you are brave enough to say, “no more” and begin working for a better life there will always be people popping back into your life to drag you back to the bottom of the barrel. Like the way crabs are described attempting to get out of a bucket. It needs no lid because the fisherman can rely on the crabs themselves to pull the climbers back down. You are going to get pulled back down. It is simply part of the healing journey. So do your best to not beat yourself up when you notice what is happening. Then, start climbing again. Leaving the destructive people in your past once again. The right people are always given at exactly the right time; those sent to destroy you, because you have enough experience, and those sent to help you where you are still unexperienced. So, if you don’t have trustworthy people in your life yet put it out there that you need some. Pray, speak it out loud when alone, send out the request in whatever way you believe is best. Then trust yourself to make the right decision about the people who show up. When you notice you made a mistake, leave room only for forgiveness for you are still healing and learning. There is no need to berate yourself (again easier said than done).
Give the process time to unfold. There is no rush. You are right on time.
What do you believe is the best way for you to make this request?
If you have already started to share your story, list 3 ways you can safely share more in depth with those trustworthy people.