Per our discussion last week, remember to: Embrace the paradox that is you.
It is so easy to compare our journeys with those around us -those we look to for guidance, and those who find us. Yet, nothing ever seems to happen for me as others explain it. When this happens, I return to default, brainwashed setting – there’s something wrong with me or I’m doing it wrong. And it is even easier to get sucked in and stuck in this downward spiral of the attempting to figure out what to do, how to do it, where to go, do I ask for help, what is happening mindset. I continue to feel like I need to be separate from everyone else – no relationships, no responsibilities, absolutely by myself in order to turn inward for truth instead of looking at other people and outside sources of guidance for truth. Unfortunately, this also feels like mission impossible. It is so much easier to look outside and around for someone to tell me what truth is, how to take my journey, or what to do next, and as a single mom I don’t really have the option of no relationships or responsibilities. But easy is not the way. Easy leads to pain. At least it has in the past because those easy paths were not mine, they belonged to someone else.
It’s like a puzzle. You have to start somewhere. And it takes one piece at a time to get the whole picture. Sometimes, you get a whole section done. Other times you’re stuck for days looking for that perfect piece. Often if you’re willing, pieces for a different section will come into view while working on and looking for pieces of another. But instead of going with the flow and putting the pieces where they go as they come to me, I continue to frustrate myself trying to figure out how things are supposed to work out and controlling the situation in ways I am not even sure how I’m doing it. I am still learning how to continue working diligently while “allowing” things to happen outside of my plan and expectations. My ultimate goal is to let go of expectations altogether, but this journey requires one puzzle piece at a time more often than I like.
What is one thing you do that causes more problems when you feel stuck? What is one thing you can replace it with that will help you?
Remember, each journey is going to be filled with questions. But, according to J.R.R. Tolkien “not all who wander are lost.” (A Hobbit’s Tale). Jesus said, “Ask, and it shall be given. Seek and ye shall find.” (Matthew 7:7-8)
Buddha said, “The way is not in the sky. The way is in the heart.”
Just because you feel like you are lost and have no way of finding the path you think you should be on, doesn’t mean that is the truth of the matter. Acknowledge and accept however you feel in the moment, but do not let the emotions dissuade you from the journey. When you are alone, ask God, the Universe, your Higher Power, the Great Beyond, etc. to help you with whatever it is you need help with. Shout to the heavens in desperation, in hope, in fear, in sadness, in joy, in anger, in gratitude. Let those emotions out. No matter your belief system, words have power. And I believe when we say them out loud, they have even more.
What do you believe? What are you willing to believe? Are you open to believing something new? Are you willing to see a current belief as no longer working for your good?