Last week I shared how I felt questions are doorways and suggested starting a list of things you like without a why attached. This week we are going to expound on that list, because it’s not about impressing anyone. It’s about being our best self.
I used to believe that certain things were innately right, and other things were innately wrong. Why? Because that is what the church system teaches. But perhaps right, wrong, and appropriateness are fluid like a river – ever changing with time and location. There is only what is appropriate for the Now. For example, at 13 some things are not appropriate, but at 31 those same things could be completely appropriate. They weren’t wrong at 13, just not the best choice for the current mentality. Whereas at 31, hopefully the mentality has matured and the item in question can now be understood and handled with responsibility. Unfortunately, that is not how things are presented to us.
For example, I have always had a fondness for vampires. I loved how powerful and confident they were depicted. How they could walk through life without fear, how strong they were, and I longed for their kind of freedom. Unfortunately, anything along this line of mythical and magical was deemed dark, dangerous, and ultimately of the devil by the one in charge of my upbringing. It was taboo, forbidden. So, naturally I felt wrong for liking them as much as I did. Now, not many of the movies that depicted vampires were completely appropriate for a child or teenager due to them also being depicted as lustful, sexually charged beings. But that was not why they were forbidden to me.
Are any of the items or activities on your list deemed wrong by someone important in your life? Has that stopped you from making that item or activity a part of your life? If this item or activity does not harm you or others, what steps can you take to remove the guilt and shame attached to you enjoying it?
You matter!
Are any of the items on your list there because someone important in your life enjoys that particular subject or activity? Do you really like it, or do you feel you have to like it for that person? Take some time to differentiate and discover if there is a “why” behind your feelings for the items on your list.